My wife and I had the same argument repeatedly. I wanted to have sex more, and she thought we were having sex enough. My wife did not understand that my demanding sex drive desired her more than once or twice a week. She concluded that I was being greedy and ungrateful. I concluded that she simply refused to accept that I was struggling. To me, it seemed simple; I had a strong craving for her. She was the only woman that I wanted to fulfill my needs, and I needed her.
While I knew that my wife’s sex drive was not nearly as strong as mine, I assumed that she was well informed about my manly needs before we walked down the aisle. I assumed that she made vows to fulfill my desire for constant intimacy at the same time that we took our other marriage vows. However, my assumptions turned out to be wrong. My wife thought having sex twice a week was an abundance. She did not understand, at all, how much I needed her.
Not having enough intimate encounters was beyond frustrating. Physically, I endured a relentless feeling of discomfort, similar to being extremely hungry, except not in my stomach. Mentally, I endured torture, knowing that the person who could give me relief was sleeping peacefully right next to me, yet was still so out of reach. I did not always properly express my frustrations, causing her to become defensive and not to receive what I was trying to get through to her.
After going in circles and getting nowhere, we decided to seek the help of our pastor and his wife, who counseled us prior to getting married. They sat us down in their office, heard both of us out, and then asked a simple yet magical question—is there a way for both of you to meet in the middle on this issue?
I explained to my wife that I would like to have sex seven days a week, but I was willing to lower my number if she was ready to increase her number. She agreed to increase her number and we settled on three times a week as being our magic number for intimacy.
Before getting married, my wife and I never discussed our expectations for sex. We both assumed that we would naturally want each other at spontaneous magical moments. However, after marriage, the busyness of life left little time for spontaneous magical moments, leading us into a cycle of arguments about of sex life.
That day in our pastor’s office was a defining moment in our marriage. We ended up solving a problem that we had been arguing about for years in less than one hour. It turned out that all we needed to do was have a mature discussion about our differing expectations. We talked about how we would adjust our schedule to allow for more intimate moments. We made a PLAN to follow through with what we discussed to obtain the happy marriage we both desired. After conquering that hurdle, we found the same planning process to be beneficial in other areas of our marriage such as: finances, household chores, blending our family, date night, and more.
Making a plan truly worked for us. We believe that a mature discussion to create a cohesive vision for the future will work for many other couples as well. That is why we created a guide to promote discussions that we believe every couple should have when planning to spend forever together. The Marriage Plan © is a training the guides couples in merging their differing views together in the interest of creating a life plan together.
What to expect from The Marriage Plan ©
✔️Based on Biblical Principles.
✔️40+ questions to promote discussions that every couple should have when planning to spend forever together.
✔️Guidance that helps couples merge their differing views together in the interest of creating a life plan together.
✔️2 workbooks (one for him & one for her) complete with valuable insight to assist you in writing out the details of your plan.
✔️4 LIVE 90 minute training sessions (runs consecutively for 4 weeks), walking you through each step of The Marriage Plan.
✔️All sessions will be recorded and available for replay for you to revisit for continuous learning.
✔️A question and answer session with your training facilitators, Lucas & Corine Marie Tindell.
✔️Unlimited access to our members only community to glean wisdom and attain accountability.
For more information about The Marriage Plan, click HERE and register today.