5 Things Every Girl Who Wants to get Married Should Know
1. Have a Worthy Candidate
First thing first, you need to find someone worthy of your time. A handsome face with a job is simply not enough. Only invest your time in someone who is God fearing, loyal, honest, selfless, motivated, and wise. Make no excuses and don’t settle on this one, because the only thing worse than DATING the wrong man is MARRING the wrong man.
2. You be Happy First
There is no possible way that anyone else can make you happy if you’re not first happy within yourself. We often get confused and feel that someone else is responsible for our fulfillment. We’ll spend insane amounts of time and energy trying to mold someone into the man of our dreams, forgetting that only true fulfillment can come through God. So stop trying to mold others into what you want them to be and focus on molding yourself into being the best you.
3. Communicate Your Values
Before you get too deeply involved with anyone, make sure they are aware of the things you wholeheartedly honor and believe in. If God is important to you, communicate that. If you can’t be with someone who smokes, let them know immediately. Relationships require compromise, however, your values should not be something you have to settle on.
4. Sometimes Love is a Decision, Not a Feeling
Once you get through the first three steps and find yourself in a thriving relationship, remember that “and then they lived happily ever after” are for books and movies. In reality, times are going to get tough and the only way to progress to the next step is to make a conscious decision to work through your issues. Two different people who have two different personalities aren’t going to easily mesh together. Selfishness is the biggest fatality in all relationships. We want what we want and if we don’t get it, we start the blame game. Stop pointing the finger and ask yourself, how can I understand them better. Your selflessness and willingness to meet them in the middle will act as motivation for your worthy candidate to do the same. If you want your relationship to work, you have to CHOOSE to make it work.
5. Know You are Worth the Wait
I was no virgin when I got married, but I wish I was. If I could take it all back, I wouldn’t have allowed those unworthy candidates to even look at me, let alone touch me. We live in an overwhelmingly sexualized country. There are too many “I’m lonely and I got needs” going on and not enough “I’m too precious to recklessly give myself over to a handsome heartbreaker so he can use me then move along to the next!”
Women often complain about their children’s fathers not being much of a father. That’s because 9 times out of 10, he was only looking to have a good time, not become a father, which brings about another set of issues that are too deep for me to get into right now…
The point is, even though waiting until marriage to have sex is a foreign concept these days, it can be accomplished. If you truly have a worthy candidate, he will respect your wishes AND it just might get that ring on your finger a little quicker.
GETTING MARRIED vs STAYING MARRIED
There is lots of advice out there on what it takes to get married from being able to cook for women and being capable of providing for men. While I believe this is good advice, it’s simply basic survival skills that every human being should have. When it comes to a marriage, this advice won’t take you beyond the first six months. Too many couples focus on getting married and not staying married. If you want a quality relationship that will endure, you’re going to need to be able to do more than cook and provide.
Here are some very important qualities that will lead to a lasting, quality relationship.
The ability to consider someone else’s feelings over your own is something that will be extremely essential in keeping your marriage strong. This doesn’t mean you won’t value your own feelings, but it means that you won’t count your feelings as more important than your spouses.
Faithfulness is huge! Being human, temptation is almost unavoidable but you have to not only resist temptation, but you have to AVOID putting yourself in situations where temptation could get the best of you. Don’t allow yourself to be alone with your extremely attractive coworker; avoid that situation at all costs!
Don’t let a day slip by without fulfilling each other’s needs. There’s a great book called The 5 Love Languages that tells how different people experience love. Find out your spouses “Love Language” and be intentional about filling up their “love tank.”
Listening is the most important part of communication. Listening is love! People want to be heard and understood and if your spouse is not being heard and understood, you’re doing a great disservice to your relationship.
Fight for your relationship. My husband and I have a rule where we don’t mention the word divorce. You have to make up in your mind that your relationship is forever. Keep toxic words such as divorce and separation out of your vocabulary and speak life into your relationship. Set it in your mind that your relationship will be forever and fight to make it the most beautiful marriage in the world.
Establish a Foundation
This is the MOST important quality. The origins of marriage is from God and divorce is only frowned upon from a religious point of view. So if marriage is a God thing, why not make God the foundation of your marriage? Love WILL NOT keep your marriage together. Over the course of your marriage you will experience a million different emotions for your spouse, ranging from loving them to despising them. When your marriage is at its worst what will keep it together? Your marriage HAS to be built upon some moral standard and I would implore you to choose God.